Thursday 23 August 2012

My Emotional State

I've been trying to write a blog on emotion, but I feel like I've failed. I never usually start a blog with a title. The title usually comes as I'm writing and has something to do with what the blog is about, but this time, I tried starting with the title 'Emotion'. wrote a couple of lines, but it started to sound too much like an essay rather then a blog post. After all that is what a blog is isn't it, my emotions pretty much laid bare for anyone who clicks onto my blog to read?

I mentioned in my Missing IAction blog that I was feeling on a bit of a downward spiral at the moment, and that the total feeling of a loss of control over my life scared me. I was encouraged to write about it, which is why I set out a title much to my failing, but there was another reason that I couldn't/didn't write about my emotions. How am I meant to convey any emotion in words to somebody else when I have absolutely no idea why I felt that way, and I pretty much still don't?There was no reason for me to feel sad or for me to lose control as much as I did over my own life, and yet I did, and in some ways still I am still sad, and I am still out of control. I'm not going to make excuses for it as what I'm feeling is for me to feel, just as your feelings are yours to deal with, and yes it did make me feel a little better to try to explain things to you, even if I mostly I didn't really have an explanation at all. We all feel our emotions in our own personal ways, and I won't judge you for yours if you won't judge me for mine. 

I guess what's left to do now is to resolve them, to gain control over my life, and take charge so that I don't let that control slip away again. After all, it's all toeasily done.

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